


Persuasion

by HandwithQuill



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Belle is Wentworth, F/M, Rumple is Anne, based on Jane Austen's Persuasion, but swapped, hopefully LOTS of angst!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6028818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandwithQuill/pseuds/HandwithQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven years ago, at his god father's persuasion, Rumford Gold turned down an offer of marriage. Now, with his family estate being rented, the woman he still loves will be thrust back into his life. </p><p>(or a role-reversal/gender swapped Rumbelle version of Jane Austen's Persuasion.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rumford Gold moved silently along the corridors of his home. Down below he could hear the sounds of the workers shutting up the rooms that weren't to be used, but they were done with this wing. Dust covers were on all the remaining furniture and the chandeliers had been lowered and stripped of their candles. 

He stopped at a door near the end of the corridor and his hand hovered over the knob. He wanted to go in, but couldn't bring himself to do so. Most of the books had been sold off to pay any remaining debts. The few that he managed to sneak out were packed away at the bottom of his trunks. 

He dropped his hand.

He truly didn't think he could see his mother's library stripped down to the shelves.

A clatter outside the window caught his attention and when he saw the carriage moving up the dive, he hurried downstairs. By the time he made it down, his godfather was already entering Neverland Hall. 

“My boy!” Zoso exclaimed, opening his arms to clasp Rumford to him. “How are you doing? This must be such a trial for you.”

Rumford pulled out of the hug and ducked his head.

“I am well,” he told his godfather. “Better then Father or Peter. They-they are not taking it very well. But I have finally convinced Father to rent out the Hall.”

“That's good. Where will you go?” 

“I was hoping for something nearby, but...”

“But, what?”

“Father and Peter insisted on Pixie Hollow. There they can keep to 'their level of society' yet live mostly inexpensively.” 

“And the Hall? Who is to rent it?”

Rumford shook his head.

“Felix has yet to return with any news, but we expect him at any time.”

“Zoso!” The door to the left opened and Malcolm Gold stepped out, his oldest son a step behind him. “Horrible new isn't, old man. Just horrible. I blame the peasants, of course. Always wanting what's not due to them. Always with 'you have to pay for it'. I'm a Gold! I'll pay when I feel like it!”

“Of course, Sir Malcolm,” Zoso said, sharing a glance with his godson. 

“What are you doing just standing there, Rumple! Get the man some tea!”

“Ye-yes. Of course, Father.”

He hurried out of the room, ignoring sympathetic look Zoso gave him. Once in the kitchen, his shoulders relaxed as he prepared the tea tray. But as he caught his image in one of the copper pots, the tension returned.

The many “teasing” comments his father and brother were always throwing at him echoing in his ears. His clothes would be considered a few years to old to be fashionable, but he had used any money he had for new clothes to pay any bills that were past due. Combine that with his overly long hair, shot threw with more gray then was probably warranted even at his age, and he did look “rumpled”. He dropped his eyes as even to him they seemed much older than they should. His shoulders ached from the stoop his posture always seemed to adopt. 

What would she think of him now if she saw him?

He shook away the tears that were forming in his eyes and concentrated on setting up the tea tray as the kettle shrieked. 

A carriage was coming to a stop outside as he returned and his father's lawyer, Mr. Felix entered.

“Good news, Sir Malcolm!” he said, bounding into the study. Rumford followed and prepared tea. “I've found a tenant! Since the war has just ended, all the newly rich officers are coming ashore and eager to spent their money. An Admiral and her husband are looking for a place to rent. She's made a pretty penny in the wars and can easily afford even a place like Neverland Hall!”

“A seafarer?” The disgust was clear in Sir Malcolm's voice. “How is a seafarer illustrious enough to rent Neverland Hall!”

“A _rich_ seafarer, Sir Malcolm.” Felix stated. “That's all that matters in this case.” 

“What is their name?”

“Finely. Ariel Finley and her husband Eric.” Felix said, then jerked back as the cup of tea Rumford was handing him spilled.

“Rumple!” Sir Malcolm growled, pulling him away and handing Felix a towel. 

“I'm sorry, sorry!” Rumford exclaimed, setting the cup down. He hurried out of the room and up to stairs to his room. 

Ariel Finley.

Ariel Finley and her husband were going to rent Neverland Hall. Would she bring...

His trunk was on his bed and he moved things around to find the keepsake box buried on the bottom. He wiped away the tears as he opened the lid. Putting the bundle of letters aside, he picked up the scrap of cloth and gently unfolded it to reveal a lock of chestnut hair. He breathed deeply, trying to catch the scent that had long since faded. 

The scent of sea air, even though she had been ashore for a month and a half, and the honeysuckles wafting in from the open ballroom windows. He could feel her close to him as they danced and danced and danced until his godfather had finally pulled him away, telling him that his prospect were to be found elsewhere.

Folding the cloth back up, he pulled out the small miniature from the bottom of the box. 

Lt. Belle French. 

The blue of her dress uniform had made her eyes sparkle in the candlelight and he was enchanted from the first time their eyes met. The fortnight he had spent in the capital city was the happiest he had been since his mother had passed away. 

The night before he left, he had asked her to marry him. She had said yes and the month before she had to ship out, because of a war brewing in the east, they had corresponded, planning the nuptials for when she returned. 

But the week before she left, Zoso had found out and convinced him that the match was not a good one. She had nothing to recommend her in the society that his family lived in. But it was Zoso's insistence that it would be safer for her to be unattached so that she could better focus on her duties that convinced Rumford. He wouldn’t put her in jeopardy. 

It was with a heavy heart that he wrote the letter ending their engagement.

In his minds eyes, he saw Ariel Finley, the mass of red hair always in Belle company, and heard the giggles that followed them as he and Belle stole away for some time alone. Her best friend was renting out his family estate. Were she and Belle still friends? Did she know how Belle was? Would Belle accompany her here? 

His heart thumped painfully in his chest at the thought of her seeing his family home, the place they planned to raise their children. Would she like it? Or find fault with if because of him? Does she even still think of him? It had been seven years and she was a successful navy captain now. Surely she would have found someone to spend her life with.

He choked on a sob at the thought of Belle walking these halls with her husband and children. He wished her happiness, but he wouldn't be able to bare the thought. 

But he didn't have to. He would be well away at Caelum Cottage with his sister Regina by the time they took residence. That part of his life was over and he needed to get used to it.


	2. Chapter 2

The wagon ride to Caelum Cottage took the better part of the morning and Rumford dozed in the back, cramped in between his trunks. Father and Peter felt their trunks were far too important to be exposed to the hash elements of travel and so hand completely filled both carriages that had left Neverland that morning, leaving Rumford to find another way to travel. 

As the wagon passed the edge of the drive, Rumford turned to take a last look at the Neverland. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long before he could step foot in its halls again. And when he did, would it look the same? Or would this circumstance effect it in his memories? He doubted it, No matter what happened in the future, nothing could be worst then walking the halls after he broke the engagement, wondering what Belle would think of each room. Would she have preferred the gallery on the second floor or the breakfast room, with its sweeping view of the gardens? And of course they would spend their evenings in his Mother's library, curled up in front of the fire, reading to each other.

He sighed as the wagon passed into the trees, blocking it from sight. All of that didn't matter if father and Peter didn't create more debts in Pixie Hollow.

The sun was at its zenith when the wagon pulled up in front of Caelum Cottage. He ducked his head, letting his hair cover his face to hide the fact that he could see his sister, Regina, looking out the window.

“Rumford!” she exclaimed with fake surprise from where she was perched in the window seat as he entered the room. “Whatever are you doing here? Are not father and Peter in Pixie Hollow? Why didn't you go with them?”

Moving over for the driver to take his trunks up to his room, he sighed. 

“There was somethings I needed to finish before following,” he told her, remembering the gleeful way that just last night Peter read Regina's letter demanding that Rumford attend her. “And since Admiral Finley and her husband are to take residence sometime today, I have come to visit you, Sister.”

“Hm, I supposed we can find room for you,” she told him and turned her cheek. He quickly pressed a kiss to it and sat at the table. “And I suppose it means we have to visit the big house tonight. It would only be right for them to invite you to dinner.”

“I would like to see Mr. and Mrs. Blanchard again.”

Regina ignored him and kept talking

“And Will has come home from school. He was inducted into some group that calls themselves 'The Merry Men'. They give each person a new name, so he's going around calling himself 'Scarlet'. He's taking to wearing nothing but the color.” 

Rumford nodded as Regina stood and started picking up things laying around the room. 

“And then there is little Mary-Margret! She's still engaged to that no name curate over at Nolan’s Hedge. She insisted that they are to be married even though it will connect me to someone so...so _low._

“David's a good man,” Rumford interrupted, “He does well with his parishioners and truly cares about those living on the land he will inherit.”

“Yes, well...” She trailed off, fussing with a flower arrangement. 

“Robin should be back soon. He's out with little Roland teaching him how to use a bow and arrow. He wouldn't leave Robin's alone, so we got him a small toy for his birthday last month.”

She turned and looked pointedly at him. He bowed his head, cheeks flaming, but there was still a small smile on his lips at the mention of his nephew. The business at Neverland had kept them all from visiting last month.

He cleared his throat. 

“I have all his presents in my trunks,” he told her. “Father and Peter asked me to pass along their apologizes.”

A look in her eyes told him she knew better then to think they had apologies, but it was only there for a moment before flickering out. 

They had a luncheon of cold ham and afterward, Regina decided they should go call upon the Blanchard's. 

Upon entering Caelum Hall, Rumford felt as if a weight was lifting off his shoulders. Caelum Hall was as different from Neverland Hall as their owners. Mr. Leopold Blanchard was a warm, gregarious man with a loving nature that was well matched in his wife. Eva Blanchard was a woman of unending kindness. She stood and gathered Rumford into her arms as he entered the drawling room. 

“Rumple,” she sighed into his ear. He relaxed into her. The nickname Peter gave him based on his always wearing the previous year's fashions, becoming affectionate from her lips. “I'm sorry for everything, my boy.”

He pulled away slightly, ducking his head, and she gathered his hands in one of hers, the other cupping his cheek and lifting his head so their eyes met.

“But you're here! And please, think of our home as your home!”

“Thank you, Mrs. Blanchard,” he squeezed her hand and let go, nodding to Mary-Margret as she handed him a cup of tea. 

They had been sitting for a quarter of an hour when a clatter came from the front door. A playful scream was heard and the drawing room doors burst open. The Blanchard's middle child, Will, entered. He was wearing a bright red frock coat and was carrying his nephew upside down with Roland’s leg hanging over his shoulder. 

“Put me down!” the child laughed, wiggling in his uncle's grasp. “Put me down so I can defeat you!”

“Defeat me? You think you can defeat me?” 

“Yes!”

“We'll see about that!” Will said, as he started to tickle Roland. The child squirmed and shrieked before spotting Rumford.

“Uncle Rumple! Help!” His arms reached out and Rumford had just enough time to set his cup down before Will dropped Roland in his lap. Roland righted himself and burrowed into Rumford's side. Rumple wrapped his arm around Roland and pressed a kiss onto his head. Will flopped down next to them.

“Hey, Rumford. Mama told me you were going to be vising for a while. How long until the Admiral moves in?”

“Admiral Finley and her husband are taking possession sometime today.” Rumple picked up his teacup again as Roland slipped off his lap, sending a distrustful look at Will before running to his mother. 

“I hope Papa calls on them soon. I would like to meet her. We read about her action at School. Her ship, _The Sea Witch_ , was one of the best in the fleet. The only ship that did better was the _The Chipped Cup_. Apparently the ship was captained by her friend. A single captain who I hear is renowned for her looks as much as her battle strategies.”

“Yes,” he said and diverted his eyes at Will's look as his cup rattled in the saucer. He put the cup on a nearby table. 

“Do you think Admiral Finley will invite her friend to Neverland?”

“I-”

He was saved from answering was Roland returned and demanded to know what Rumple had brought him in his trunks. 

As he teased his nephew about his belated birthday presents, he shuttered at the thought of Belle coming here. What would he do with the knowledge that the woman he loved with all his heart was just a few miles away? He thought that he was reconciled to the situation, but deep inside he knew it was a lie. 

How would he handle it knowing she was as close as Neverland and never being able to see her? How could he endure to never have her smile at him again? But to see her and not be able to speak to her? To see her smile at another? What was left of his heart would surely turn to dust.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of Navy Unifoms are taken from a Wiki page on royal Navy Uniforms from 1700's to 1900's. I just copy/pasted the descriptions I liked and thought I bookmaked it to link to now. But it's not in my bookmarks. :/

Rumford's first two weeks at Caelum Cottage were quiet. The main excitement being a dinner at the Big House. The beginning of the third week seemed like it would be more of the same until the morning that Robin entered the cottage with Roland hanging over his arm, while Rumford and Regina were having breakfast.

    Roland jumped out of his father's arms and rushed to give his mother a kiss, all the while excitedly telling her about the 'hunt' they had just come back from. Rumford nodded to Robin as the other man put away the bows and the practice targets.

    “I hit all of them, Mama! Well, all but the one that went into the trees. Papa wouldn't let me get it down,” Roland told her, jumping up and down. “Papa says he's never seen anyone as good!”

    “Of course he hasn't,” Regina praised, “No other little boy in all of the Enchanted Forest is as good a shot as you! But now you have to go clean up for breakfast! Go!”

    She pointed to the waiting sink and he ran off. Robin sat down at the table and only poured himself a cup of tea.

    “I stopped in at the Big House earlier,” he said when Regina frowned at him. “Father was having breakfast. He was just heading over to Neverland.” He nodded to Rumford, who furrowed his brows and bit his lip as he tried to release the sudden tension in his shoulders. “He wanted to introduce himself to the Finley's, and if they are agreeable, to invite them to dinner at the end of the week. We all, of course, are invited to attend.”

    “Oh! That would be wonderful!” Regina said. “I would love to meet them. Did you ever meet them, Rumple? I thought Peter said in one of his letter that they were in the Capital the same time as you were a few years ago?”

    “Briefly,” he managed to say, feeling his cheeks heat as he looked down, pretending to butter his toast to let his hair cover his face. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

    In his mind, he could see Ariel's laughing green eyes turn cold as she looked at him. How much did she know about why he broke his engagement to Belle? Would Belle have shown her his letter? If she knew, would she even speak to him? Would she berate him for how he treated her best friend? Would she ask him how he could have done such a thing to an honorable and lovely woman? He deserved her ire, but for the shame of the matter to be observed by the Blanchard’s, the only people he felt comfortable with, that would be a heavy burden to bear. Would the Blanchard's condemn him as well if they found out? Would the doors to Caelum Hall, his second home, be barred to him?

    He let out another breath as tears he didn't have the right to shed began to sting his eyes. With a slight shake of his head, he banished them back to the box he had kept them in for the last seven years. The best he could hope for was that Ariel would ignore him.

** ** * ** **

    For the rest of the household of Caelum Cottage, the week couldn't seem to go fast enough, but for Rumford every tick of the clock seemed to set the ball in the pit of his stomach roiling. As he sat in the parlor of Caelum Hall waiting for the Finley's to arrive, he tugged on his cravat, sure that it had somehow shrunk in the quarter of an hour since he had put it on.

    A carriage could be heard coming up the drive and he leaned back in his seat to see the footman rushing out to open the door. Both the Finley's were in full naval dress, with blue double-breasted tailcoats with white facings and four gold buttons running down each side. The tailcoats were worn over a white shirt and tan waistcoat. Trousers that matched the waistcoat, with gold lace down the side, were fastened with sword belts. Their swords swayed lightly in their scabbards as they entered the house. The bicorn hats they wore were swept off their heads as the bowed.

    The others stood and came forward as the Finley's entered, but Rumford moved back to the rear of the room.

    “Thank you for coming,” Mr. Blanchard said, stepping forward. “We are so glad to have you in our home.”

    “Thank you for inviting us, Mr. Blanchard,” Admiral Finley said. “Captain Eric and I were very happy to receive your invitation.”

    “You are most welcome. Please let me introduced my family?”

    Ariel nodded and he held out his hand.

    “My lovely wife, Eva.”

    “It's a pleasure to meet you, Admiral, Captain Finley,” Mrs. Blanchard told them. “My children,” she said, motioning around the room. “Our oldest, Robin, and his wife Regina. Our daughter, Mary-Margaret, and our youngest William.”

    All bowed or curtseyed as they were mentioned and Rumford felt his shoulders stoop and dipped his head as Mrs. Blanchard turned towards him.

    “And our other guest, Rumford Gold.”

    “Gold?” Captain Finley asked. His eyebrow quirked before his eyes darted over to his wife. “As of Neverland?”

    “Yes,” Regina said, “My older brother.” She reached out her hand to him. Even if he wanted to ignore her outstretched hand, there was no way to avoid it when, with an exasperated sigh, she reached over to pull him to the front. “Come Rumple!”

    “Admiral, Captain Finley,” he greeted them quietly. The silence that followed had him risking a glance. Captain Finley's head was tilted as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle he had been presented with. Ariel's face, on the other hand, had him dropping his head again. Her expression was closed off, her eyes hard. Rumford jumped as a hand fell on to his shoulder.     

    “I believe dinner is served,” Mrs. Blanchard said, “Let's all go in. Rumford, will you escort me?”

    “Of course, Mrs. Blanchard,” he said, taking her arm. She squeezed his hand as they walked and he forced a smile to let her know he was all right when he saw the concern in her eyes.    

    “How are you liking Neverland?” Regina asked after the first course was served.

    “We're finding it a most amiable house,” Captain Finley said. “The rooms are more favorable than a humble sailor like myself ever thought he would reside in.”

    “I believe,” Regina said, helping herself to a portion of the lamb, “that father said the music room is open to you. How do you like the concert grand pianoforte? Is not the sound just the best? Mother taught me to play on it.”

    The Finley's looked at each other.

    “I don't believe we've come across a pianoforte yet,” Captain Finley's said.

    “It was one of the first things father let go, Regina.” Rumford quietly informed her.

    An awkward silence descended as all on the table as the reason for the renting of Neverland Hall was brought up. It was Will who broke it by asking Admiral Finley about a battle that had been in the papers while he was at school in the Capital.

    The mood of the table turned lighter as she described, with the occasional input from her husband, the action that got her the promotion to Admiral.

    “If I remember, you were not alone in that battle?” Robin asked, “There were other ships of note?”

    “Yes, there were two others.” She paused and looked at Rumford and he lowered his head, once again letting his hair hide him. He hoped no one asked about her seemingly standoffish behavior with him. “ _The Chipped Cup_ ,” she looked at Robin, “and _The Yellow Bug _were under my command. Their captains are two of my best friends. I would do anything for them. Defend them from anything. Especially when Captain French arrives next week.”__

__The glass of wine Rumford had just raised to his lips shattered on the floor._ _

__“Rumford! Are you alright?” Mrs. Blanchard asked, alarmed._ _

__“I'm—I'm fine,” he stuttered out. But he wasn't. Belle was coming here! He pressed his hand to his chest as it seemed to shrink as his lungs resisted taking in enough air._ _

__“You are not fine! You've gotten so pale. Will, Robin, help him to the drawing room. Lay him down on the settee.”_ _

__As his brother-in-laws escorted him out of the room, he caught a glance at Admiral Finley. Her face was still blank, but the arch of her eyebrow indicated how much she disliked him. And if she hated him this much, how much did Belle hate him?_ _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a myth told in this chapter. The names are a simple translation of the word in English to Maltese. (I thought I looked the best.)

Rumford had waited long enough for Will and Robin to return to the dinner table before he had left the drawing room. His hands were itchy as he opened the door, looking both ways for servants, before stealing down a side passage to a room near the kitchen and out of Caelum Hall. 

The night was quiet and the clear sky showed the stars brilliantly. He stood there for a few moments, letting the crisp, early spring air tingle his lungs, as his eyes sought out a specific collection of stars. Looking to the west, he found the constellation that looked like an owl with a helmet clutched in its feet.

_“There,” Belle pointed, as she leaned back against Rumford's chest. It was a highly scandalous position to be in seeing as they had stole away from the rest of those gathered in the ballroom, but as Rumford's time in the Capital was nearing an end, neither seemed to care about propriety. She took his hand and traced out a shape in the sky. “That's Kokka. The companion to Gwerrier. In ancient times, she was the beautiful goddess of Battle Strategy.”_

_“Like you?” he asked. When she turned her head to look at him, he bobbed a kiss on the tip of her nose._

_“Not quite,” she said, returning to her story. “She was said to eschew all partners until one could prove worthy of her. It was assumed that she would never marry until Gherf showed up. Most dismissed him as he was not what was considered attractive. The myth actually states that he was ugly, but I think that's unfair. Anyway, when she put her questions to him, he answered them with a calm wisdom that tempered her recklessness. They made a formidable team and then war came. She had a helmet made for him. She sent Kokka to take it to him, but sadly he was killed before it arrived. In her grief, every night she sends Kokka to take the helmet to him, hoping that one night, it will make it and he will come back to her.”_

_“That's sad,” he said, “Is there no hope for them? No chance that he's not dead, but merely injured and will return to her?” He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist and nuzzled behind her ear._

_“Not in the myths, but there is always hope. Love should always be fought for,” she breathed out, tilting her head to expose her neck to him. He placed a kiss there before spinning her around to claim her lips._

A bird calling in the nearby trees snapped Rumford out of his memory and he lowered his head, squeezing his fingers into fists. He had no right to remember the way his hands felt on her waist. Or the way her lips felt as they moved softly against his. He forced away the memory of her hands twirling in the air as she tried to explain some nautical maneuver to him and the way her blue eyes flashed with laughter, lighting the entire room and his heart. He made his way back to the Cottage and stomped up to him room. He had no right to these memories. No right to be happy.

Ignoring everything except lighting a candle, he sat down on the stool in the corner. The small spinning wheel there was nothing like the Great Wheel he had at Neverland, but it was fine piece anyway. As he prepped the wool in the basket at his feet, he could feel some of the tension melt away. 

Watching the wheel made him feel better, lighter. Here, all he had to do was listen to the creak of the wheel as it turned. He no longer had any worries. He no longer had to wonder if they could pay the butcher, or if the Cartwright had been paid. He didn't have to think about which of mother's jewelry was going to be sold. And more importantly, he didn't have to think about what a disappointment he was. To his family. To the Blanchard's. To Ariel. To _Belle._

Did she hate him? Was she as devastated as he was by the breaking of their engagement? Or was she maybe happy? Glad to not have to align herself to someone like him, a second son with no way to inherent? As much as it was a disservice to her to break their engagement in such a way, he hoped it kept her from any future distress about his situation. If he could spare her this feeling, this roiling emptiness, this gray haze of life that never went away, he would. She deserved so much more. She deserved happiness and to be the first person in her lover's life. 

He continued to spin until the candle gutted and only then put away the spinning supplies. As he fell asleep, he flung a pray to the heavens to ask for courage to get through a meeting with Belle. But he doubted it would happen. Not for a coward like him.

** ** * ** ** 

It rained non-stop for the three days following he dinner at Caelum Hall. When the fourth day dawned bright and sunny, Regina insisted that he accompany her on a walk to the village to buy new lace for the dress she wanted to wear to the dinner being held at Neverland hall the next week. The Finley's wanted to return the favor for the gathering held in their honor the week before. Rumford knew that his invitation was only because it would have been seen as a great slight, one that the surrounding area would not let them overcome, to not invite him back into his home. 

They were leaving the seamstress, the baskets hanging off his arms full of the things Regina seemed to think was “absolutely necessary” for the dress, when they ran into the Finley's.

“Admiral! Captain!” Regina greeted them. “How are you? Isn't it such a nice day after all that rain! How are you liking the village?”

“Very well,” Captain Finley answered after a moment when his wife didn't answer. “Though I'm finding I need new pair of gloves.”

He held up a pair of white leather gloves that were part of his uniform. The leather was now a darker white, one of the fingers had the beginnings of a hole in it, and the button at the cuff was missing. 

“Oh!” Regina exclaimed, “You don't have to come here for that! Rumple will make you some new ones.”

“Mr. Gold? Really?”

“Yes,” Regina cut in before Rumford could say anything. “He likes playing with fabric.” She fluttered her hand in the air irreverently. Eric looked between them for a moment before Rumford met his eyes briefly and nodded.

“All right, then,” Captain Finley said slowly. “If it's no trouble?”

“Not at—”

Once again Regina cut him off.

“What else is he supposed to do,” she laughed. Rumford ducked his head and took a breath before glancing at the Finley's. 

Eric looked taken aback slightly, obviously not knowing how to continue the conversation after Regina's causally slight of her own brother. Ariel's brows were narrowed, a confused look on her face as her eyes darted back and forth between the siblings. 

“If you'll come with me, I'm sure Madam Shears will let me use her tools to take your measurements,” Rumford said when the silence became unbearable. 

The Captain followed him inside. 

“I'm glad to get to speak to you alone, Mr. Gold,” the Captain spoke up as Rumford was carefully tracing around Eric's hand. Rumford looked up. “I'm aware that there is some sort of history between you, Ariel and Captain French? Ariel hasn't told me everything. Truthfully, she hasn't said much at all.”

Rumford could feel the color drain from his face. He opened his mouth a few times, but nothing came out. Ariel hadn't told her husband about what happened between him and Belle? Was that because Belle didn't tell her?

“I'm not asking for your confidence,” Eric continued, “but if you need an unbiased opinion, I will do my best to give it.”

Captain Finley's face was open and Rumford wanted to believe him. He looked back down, returning to his measurements, thinking before he spoke. 

“We, that—that is Captain French and I, met—met in the Capital,” he stuttered out, concentrating intently on his task. 

“Oh?”

“Hm. It—it was before the war.” He glanced up through his hair. “I—I was engaged to Captain French.” 

He watched as Eric’s eyes widened. He lowered his head again, making useless marks on the paper. 

“I broke it off. She needed to concentrate on her duties.” He stopped, taking slow deep breaths as his vision blurred. It wouldn't do to pass out in front of a Navy captain. Once he could no longer hear his heartbeat in his ears, he repeated, “She needed to concentrate on her duties.” 

He had repeated it to himself nearly every day for the last seven years. Every time he opened the paper and saw her name, saw the amazing things she had done, he repeated it to himself. Belle needed to concentrate on her duties. She was alive and well and doing her duty as a lieutenant. And then as a captain. That was what she needed to do. And every time he pressed one of those pages into his scrap book, he repeated it. 'Belle needed to concentrate on her duties'. He probably would repeat it to himself until his last breath. But Belle was more important than him. 

He folded up the paper with the measurements and tucked it into his inner pocket. “They should be done in two days. I'll send them over as soon as I'm finished.” 

Eric nodded and Rumford made to leave the shop, when Eric's hand landed on his arm in a gentle squeeze. Captain Finley's head was tilted to the side, and Rumford thought he saw a bit of sympathy in his eyes. And why wouldn't there be? Through his wife, he was friends with Belle as well. Of course he would be sympathetic that his friend had such a lucky escape in not marring someone as useless as Rumford.

He took the long way back to the Cottage over the fields. The damp earth released a clean fresh scent with every step that helped clear his mind and he could feel the tension leaving him. 

Strangely, after admitting things to Captain Finley, he felt better. The sense of waiting to disappoint him was over and now that he had done so, there was a freedom in not having to pretend he was worth the Captain’s time. He was never worth anyone’s time, as his family had shown him, but now that he didn’t have to pretend, he felt lighter. 

If only this calmness would last until next week and the dinner party at Neverland when he would be in the same room with Belle again. Imaging the censuring eyes of all three of them and he could feel his shoulders drawling in and he huddled into himself as he hurried back to the Cottage.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, I want to give a great big “Thank You” to @thenaughtyscandalousscorpio. I can't express how much you help me. All the times I go “its says x” and you turn it into a beautiful paragraphs. Seriously, the flashback in this one is all her. I gave her like three paragraphs and she turned it into the wonderful exchange below! All credit for that scene goes to her! :many hugs:

It actually only took one day for Rumford to finish the gloves, but a day and a half after that for him to send them over because the news that Captain French had arrived at Neverland had sent the Cealum estate into a tizzy.

    Mr. Blanchard went to call the day after, taking his youngest son with him. Will stopped into the Cottage to tell them all about the visit.

    “Well?” Regina asked imperiously from the window seat that was her favorite, tossing an apple from hand to hand. Robin snatch it out of the air on the next toss. He gave his wife a look as he put it in a bowl nearby, before perching next to her in the window seat. Regina let out a silent sigh and rested her head on his shoulder.

    “What is she like, Will?” Robin asked.

    Rumford set the toy solider he was holding where Roland pointed to while keeping his ears on the conversation.

    “Oh, When you hear 'Navy captain', you from this picture in your head. Captain French is nothing like it. She amazing! And she's a good storyteller,” he added, picking a grape out of the bowl on the table and popping it in his mouth. “She told some stories the battles she was in, and let me tell you, they made more sense then when my professors tried to explain them.”

    “What does she look like?” Regina inquired.

“Well, she's got brown hair,” Will said. 

‘Chestnut,’ Rumford thought. Silken, chestnut locks that easily slipped through his fingers and smelled of honeysuckles. And when the sun hit them just right, they shone with auburn streaks. 

“And her eyes are blue,” Will added.

More than just blue, though. They were a beautiful, changeable blue. The clear, pale blue of a spring day when she was calm, but if she was impassioned, they darkened to the deeper blue of the seas she sailed on. 

“Also, she's tiny.” Will held his hand up 

    And she was. She only came up to Rumford's chin and he remembered how perfectly she seemed to fit against him when he held her in his arms. He wondered how this tiny woman was able to command those under her, until the day he saw her in action. 

    _The day was just a little bit too hot, but the breeze coming in off the ocean helped as they strolled along the seawall. He watched as Belle’s hands fluttered in the air as she explained the different kinds of ships._

    _“So, that's not a Schooner?” He asked as he tried to keep a confused look on his face._

    _“No, no. A Schooner is a vessel with two or more masts, with fore and aft sails on both masts and normally less than 150 tons.”_

    _“Okay, and you said a Brig and a Brigantine are not the same thing?”_

    _“No, a Brig a is squared-rigged, two-masted warship originally armed with eighteen cannonades and two long guns. It has a berthing deck with sleeping quarters for the officers and crew, storerooms, sail bin, and a wood stove. Magazines for shot and gunpowder would be stored in the hold. A Brigantine is used by both the Navy and as Merchant vessels. She's rigged for speed, having both Top gallant sails and royals. She carries between 10 to 16 guns.”_

    _He nodded as if he was taking all this in for the first time. He loved the way her eyes light up as she talked. She was so passionate about what she did and he could feel his heart warming at the sight._

    _“Let’s see what you remember! What's that one?”_ She pointed to a where a Galleon was just coming into port. He bit his lip, cocked his head to the side as if confused, and slanted his eyes to her.

    _It's a dingy, right?_

    _Her mouth dropped and the most perplexed and dumbfounded look crossed her face. At that point, he couldn’t help himself and tilted his head back in belly deep laughter._

    _“You!” she exclaimed, pulling her arm from his. “You know this, don't you!” He nodded and her eyes narrowed. “Just you wait, Rumford Gold! I—” She stopped suddenly as she focused behind him. Rumford turned to see what had caught her attention._

_A few feet away a man wearing a Navy uniform was standing close to a woman. Even if the look on the woman’s face hadn’t shown how uncomfortable she was, the fact that she was trying to tug her wrist free from the man’s grip would have let Rumford know there was a problem. Rumford frowned and made to take a step forward to help the woman, when Belle squared her shoulders and marched off to confront the man._

    _“Mr. Nottingham! What do you think you are doing!”_

    _“Nothing, Lieutenant French! I—I was just talking to this fine young lady.”_

    _“Talking? Is that what you were doing, Mr. Nottingham?”_

_Yes, Lieutenant. We as just talkin’,” Nottingham mumbled and looked quickly over at the girl beside him. Rumford saw her face squeeze tight in pain as she started tugging her wrist away from him._

_“Really, Ensign Nottingham?” Belle questioned him again, narrowing her eyes and moving closer to the large man, making him back up a step to avoid her close proximity._

_Nottingham’s whole body straitened and he raised his head as if he was being inspected in a military line up._

_Yes, Ma’am. Talkin’”_

_Bell didn’t let him escape as she walked right up to him and stood on her tiptoes until she was almost eye-level with his face. “Is ‘talking’ what you call it when a woman repeatedly asks you to leave her alone and you refuse?”_

_Nottingham’s eyes went wide and he shook his head, but Belle let him say nothing._

_Is it ‘talking’ when you lay hands on a woman when she wishes to depart your presence?”_

_The man shook his head again, but Belle continued dressing him down before her could speak._

_“I would say that ‘talking’ had little to do with this. You are Ensign in the Navy of the Enchanted Forest and when you joined you swore to uphold the honor and dignity of the Navy. Do you think this,” she pointed to the bruises forming on the girl’s wrist, “is what is meant by honor and dignity? Do you think that this, an action that you have been reprimanded for twice in the last fortnight, shows that you are a gentleman deserving of your station on the ship you serve on?”_

Nottingham tried hard to look at some point behind Belle’s head, his face flaming in shame.

_“I will tell you it does not, Ensign Nottingham, and you are on report again. Return to your quarters and remain there until I speak to your commanding officer!”_

_The Ensign, realizing he hand been dismissed mumbled a hasty, “Yes, Lieutenant,” before scurrying off._

_Rumford felt a flood of awe for the way this tiny woman commanded such a large brute. He waited until Belle made sure the girl was fine before he pulled her into his arms, cupping her face to kiss her. It was their first kiss._  
      
    “No, Uncle Rum!” Roland declared, pulling Rumford out of the memory. Little hands moved Rumple's line of soldiers to another space. “You're the bad guys. You have to be here so I can win!”

    “Sorry,” he murmured and tried to concentrate on making sure his soldiers lost the battle.

    It helped to push away the tugging in his chest at the way that Will talked about Belle. There was admiration in it, of course, she was a war hero, but there was something else in the way he remarked on her beauty that set Rumford on edge. He had no reason to feel like way, though. He ended their engagement. Whoever showed Belle attention was none of his business. If-if Will caught Belle's eye, then that was all there was to it. It wouldn't matter to him. It couldn't. But if Will and Belle married, then she would be part of his family. She would be at every family gathering and he would see how happy another man was making her in ways he was incapable of. He smiled at Roland as another small piece of his heart shattered.

      
** ** * ** **

    The day of the dinner was hectic as Regina spent it primping. Robin had taken Roland out 'hunting' to keep him out of the way. Rumple had retreated to his room and his spinning wheel after the third time Regina demanded her maid re-do her hair.

    His own outfit was laid out on his bed. The cuff of his left pant leg was frayed and there was a spot on the back of the right shoulder of his coat that had a stain no one could get out. His boots were going to be the same ones that were on his feet right now. He preferred how his hair hung down the sides of his face, letting him hide whenever he needed. And unlike Regina commented, it was clean.

    He examined himself in the mirror, twisting this way and that to take in his lank form. It wasn't much, but it was the best he could do. He grabbed his hat and was descending the stairs when a scream tore through the air surrounding the Cottage.

    He hurried out the door, Regina following him, to see Robin running towards them with Roland in his arms.

    “What happened?” Regina cried.

    “He fell out of a tree,” Robin told them, edging past to set his son onto the window seat. “I've sent John Little to fetch a doctor.”

    It seemed like forever for the doctor to arrive and Rumford spent his time hovering over his poor nephew and trying to calm his frantic parents. Regina was in a state, even before the doctor arrived and performed his examination.

    “His collarbone is broken,” Dr Whale told them, “but it should be fine. I can set it tonight and as long as he's kept immobile, it should heal completely in a few weeks. Rumford, if you can help me?”

    He nodded and moved to brace his nephew while the doctor moved the bones back into place. He listened as Whale gave instructions on how to care for the injury while also watching an argument between Regina and Robin. Knowing his sister, and watching how she stormed upstairs, he didn't think that it was completely because of Roland's injury.

    Robin sighed and fell into a chair nearby.

    “Is it really that outrageous to expect to stay home tonight?” he asked. “Our son is injured and she wants to go to the dinner!” He sat forward and placed his face in his hands.

    “We both know what Regina is like,” Rumford commented. “It's not because she doesn't love Roland. She's never had the nerves for the sick room.” He closed his eyes remembering the days he'd come out of mother's sick room to find his little sister waiting, and the nights he carried her back to her room. She never entered the room. Her fear of losing her mother staying her feet at the threshold. “Do you—do you think that you will be all right going to the dinner? There is nothing else you can do tonight.”

    Robin lifted his head and met Rumford's eyes. For a moment, the air crackled as the ability to read each other they always shared flared into life. As much as Robin loved Regina, Rumford could see him thinking about how things would be different if Rumford had said ‘yes’ to his proposal of marriage.  Robin blinked and shook his head.

    “You would stay with Roland?” he asked.

    Rumford nodded.

    “One of the reasons that Regina has been excited about tonight is that it's been too long since she's been to Neverland. You temper Regina, so you need to go with her the first time she is a true guest in the home she grew up in. go to the dinner. Roland will be well cared for with me.”

    Rumford could see the arguments flashing across Robin's face, but in the end he knew Rumple was correct and went up to change, briefly stopping to squeeze Rumford's shoulder.

    Less than half an hour later, the carriage left. Roland only woke once and Rumford gave him the sleeping draught that Whale left. When the servants had gone to sleep and he was assured that Roland wouldn't wake, Rumford left the Cottage and walked to the top of the hill. He was much too far away for any sound to travel, but he could see lights in the windows of Neverland Hall.

    He felt a strange calmness looking at his former home. Belle was there with his family, and he was not. This was the way things were supposed to be. The way he made them be. He was a selfish man, a coward. As much as he loved his nephew, he knew the reason he stayed behind was because he was too afraid to face the meeting ahead. Too afraid to see the indifference on Belle's face. Everyone said that the opposite of love is hate, but that wasn't true. The opposite of love was apathy. He was not yet ready to look in Belle's eyes and see how much he didn't matter to her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Endangeredslug. I hope you feel better soon, my friend! Also, thank you betweenpaperpages and thenaughtyscandalousscorpio for looking over this for me.

Rumford wasn't sure what woke him, the early morning sun, the crick in his neck or the way Roland was tugging his hair.

    “Uncle Rum,” he whispered loudly, “Uncle Rum!”

    Rumford lifted his head to see his nephew wiggling in place, stopping whenever he jostled his shoulder, but starting up seconds later.

    “Uncle Rum! I hafta go!”

    That woke Rumford up the rest of the way as he scrambled to help Roland so that the bedsheets didn't have to be washed. Once done with that, he checked the bandage the way Dr. Whale told him to and dressed the boy for the day before carefully carrying him downstairs to the kitchen window seat. The maid was already preparing the family's breakfast and she scooped a small bit of porridge into a bowl for Roland.

    In between making sure that Roland ate his breakfast, he managed to eat his own portion. Robin was the first on to join them in the kitchen. After giving his son a kiss, he thanked the maid and dismissed her from the cooking as he took over at the stove.

    “How was the dinner?” Rumford asked, taking his bowl to the sink.

    “It was fine. The Finley's were most grieved to hear about Roland and wished him a speedy recovery. Captain Finley asked about you. He asked me to pass on how much he likes the gloves you made him.”

    Rumford nodded as he wondered if he should ask what he really wanted to know. What right did he have to know what Belle was like last night? It shouldn't matter to him if she was happy or if her smile still brightened the room more than any candle could. He had no place in wondering if she had looked over the party and wondered where he was. As such he closed his eyes and squashed that painful twist in his heart that hoped she mentioned him.

    “I didn't know that you knew Captain French?”

    He dropped the bowl as he snapped his head around to face Robin.

    “What!”

    Robin looked at him in confusion.

    “She mentioned that she met you briefly in the Capital a few years ago. When you met Admiral Finley?”

    “Oh, yes.” He looked back down, eyes widening as he saw the blood. He held it up and watched as two drops fell into the sink, splattering on the broken bowl. Rumple frowned and squeezed his hand, causing more blood to flow. He hadn’t realized that he'd cut himself. Even now he couldn't feel the sting. He continued to watch the blood slipping from him wishing it would take the rest of his torment with it.

    “Rumford!” Robin's hands were turning him, his eyes wide with alarm. He pressed a cloth to the cut and wrapped another around it to bandage the wound. Once that was done, he curled Rumple's fingers shut and held his brother-in-law’s hand between his. “Rumford?”

    Their eyes meet and the air tingled like it did last night. Rumford glanced back at Roland, who had fallen asleep in the window seat, before meeting Robin's eyes. He watched as understanding dawned in his brother-in-law's eyes.

    “Captain French is why you turned me down.”

    He nodded.

    “I couldn't—couldn't say yes to you if—if I could never give you my heart. It wouldn't have been fair to you.”

    “What happened between you? After meeting her, I can't see her saying no to you.”

    “I—I ruined it. That's all that really matters. I didn't deserve her anyway. She was-is-much better than me.”

    He tried to tug his hand away, but Robin held on to his fingers. His other hand came up to brush the hair away from Rumford's face before he cupped his cheek.

    “I do not believe that. I wouldn't have asked you myself if that were true. You have a good heart, Rumford.” He pressed their combined hands to Rumple's chest. “The best of anyone's I've ever met. I wish you could believe that and in yourself.”

    A clatter on the stairs had him stepping away and returning to the stove. Regina entered the room and sat down next to Roland, running her fingers through his hair.

    “Good morning, Dear,” Robin said.

    Rumford turned back to the sink as Robin's words were echoed in his mind. He wanted to believe them, but how could he? Someone with a good heart would have never broken Belle's. If there was one thing his family had showed him, it was that he wasn't worth anything and never would be. After disposing of the broken bowl, he escaped upstairs to his wheel.

    By mid-day Rumford started to feel the pain of the cut on his hand. The hours spent preparing the wool hadn't helped in the healing process, but it had helped his mind to focus. He put away the remaining wool and stood to stretch. The day was sunny and a walk would help his cramped muscles he grabbed his cloak as he left the Cottage.

    It was the perfect day for walking and he set off along the fields, nodding to the people he met. At a crossroad he stopped to let two carts pass. In the first one, a child about Roland's age played in the back as his mother guided the oxen. In the Driver's seat, his other mother was heavy with child. The next cart held who he assumed were the fathers.

    It was common in the lower classes that when couples of the same gender wanted children, they would find another same gendered couple and agree to have children with each other. Both couples would live together to raise the children and there were cases where the two couples established themselves as one relationship. As seemed to be the case here when one of the men shouted a suggestive remark to the woman pulling the first chart, who gave a flirty wink back.

    The upper class frowned upon the practice. They thought it immoral since one person from each couple needed to be intimate with each other, completely disregarding the philandering and adulterous action rampart in the upper class. Some claimed that it was a dilution of the blood lines which Rumford thought was a ridiculous notion. If a match was made between a same gendered couple in high society, the couples heir would be the second oldest niece or nephew of the partner who had the higher rank in society.

    He smiled while he watched them four banter back-and-forth, the love and respect they had for each other was evident as was the bond they shared as a family. He wondered if they lived close in one of the many humble houses that dotted the wooden lands the Blanchard’s estate.

    It would be nice to live in one, he thought, a simple life without any of the obligations of his family’s standing in the Enchanted Forest. Just him and his wheel, living off of what he spun and wove. He could see it in his minds eye, a small thatched roof house and no one around for miles. Though one day he _would_ like a family of his own, a spouse and children. However even in his imagination, his mind betrayed him. The children playing in front of the house all had dark hair and bright blue eyes; just like the woman who came up behind him and rested her hands on his shoulders. 

Rumford shook his head, pushing the thoughts of happiness and of Belle, away. He turned and proceeded up a hill. A little ways before the top a fence stretched across the field blocking his path. He was crossing over the stile when he heard Will’s laughter. It echoed in the air, but he could tell his brother-in-law was just on the other side. Wondering what had Will in such a mirthful spirit he hurried to meet up with him. Will crested the hill at the same time he did and Rumford found that he wasn’t alone.

Rumple froze, his body suddenly unable to move as for the first time in seven years he was face to face with Belle French.


	7. Chapter 7

There were moments in Rumford Gold’s life that would stay with him forever, such as when he was allowed to hold Regina for the first time after she was born. The awe that filled him as he held this tiny little life in his hands was one of his favorite memories. It was second only to the day that Belle agreed to marry him. The complete and utter joy, the sense that he would never, could never, be happier than he was at that moment was kept in a tiny secluded corner of his heart. 

    He only took it out, savoring the warmth and taking solace in what could have been, when there terrible moments that threatened to turn his muscles into jelly and steal the breath from his lungs. Those awful moments that he would never be able to erase from his mind and sent a chill deep into his soul that felt like it would never leave.

Like the moment when he was sitting next to his mother's bed as she lay gasping for breath, his father and siblings not able or caring to enter the room, and her hand went limp in his. The chill froze the tears in his eyes even as they formed and carried him through the process of arranging for the funeral, his father and brother decided that they were too overcome with grief to be able to do anything of use. He remembered wishing he could cry as he held Regina’s sobbing form when the casket was lowered into the ground. But he wasn’t afforded the luxury to cry as father and Peter took off to the tavern immediately afterwards and someone had to host the wake. 

As he stood at the top of that hill, his eyes landing on Belle’s for the first time in seven years, he knew that this was going to be one of those moments. His mouth fell open as his lungs struggled to draw in breath and his knees locked as they tried to give out on him. Whatever he thought he might have said when they finally met abandoned him as his mind went blank expect for the thought of blue. 

He had forgotten just how blue her eyes were.

He had obviously surprised the pair and he couldn’t be sure if her eyes were widened by their his sudden appearance or if she was feeling the same shock of their meeting that he was feeling. All he was aware of was the clenching of his heart, like it was shriveling up in his chest, when her brows narrowed under the brim of her bicorn hat. She wore the same uniform that the Finley’s wore when they dined at Caelum Hall and the buttons reflected the sun as she squared her shoulders.

“Oh, hey, Rumford,” Will called across the few feet that separated them. “Have you met Captain French yet?” Rumford opened his mouth to say something, but Will continued on before any words formed on his tongue. “Captain French, this is my brother-in-law, Rumford Gold.” 

Rumford waited to see what she would say. Would she admit to knowing him better than a slight acquaintance? Would she let it be known that they were once very important to each other? Or would she pretend that they had met so briefly one day long ago that they were basically stranger?

It seemed to be the latter as she nodded at him.

“Mr. Gold,” she said and her voice held no tone. It was neither flat, angry or impassioned. Whatever she felt, he had no notion of. Once upon a time, seven years ago, they knew what the other was thinking before they thought it. Now he couldn’t read her. 

“Cap-Captain French,” he stuttered out. 

She nodded again and looked back to Will, dismissing him. He swallowed harshly and took a step back, the fingers of his right hand rubbing against each other. He irreverently wished for magic all of a sudden. To be able to disappear from this situation and be back in the safety of his room and his spinning wheel.

His brother-in-law smiled at them, oblivious to the oppressive tension that Rumford felt filling the air around them. 

“I was just showing Captain French the ground,” Will commented, “Would you like to join us?”

“No-no. That-that’s all right. I-I-I don’t want to-to intrude.” He kept his eyes on Will, but still saw the look that flashed across Belle’s face. “I-I should get back to the Cottage. Regina needs me to help with Roland.”

“Oh, we’ll go with you! We were going to check on him ourselves.”

He could do nothing but nod, turning around to go back the way he came. He stepped off of the stile and looked back just in time to see Will climb over the fence before moving over to the stile and holding out a hand for her. Belle quirked an eyebrow at him and vaulted over the waist high barrier. Will tipped back his head and laughed at the self-satisfied look on the navy captain’s face. 

Rumple’s head dipped lower, his shoulders rising to meet his ears, an uncomfortable feeling forming in his stomach, as he listened to their jovial conversation behind him. He hurried his steps, wanting to get back to the Cottage as fast as he could. If there were other people present, he could disappear, even if he was in the room. He turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of them. Belle was explaining something, her hands waving in the air as she talked. He looked ahead, heart squeezing as he remembered the numerous times he had grabbed one of those floating hands and used it to pull her closer for a kiss. 

In his hurry as he passed too close to a sticker bush and his pants snagged. He leaned down to free them, but the already threadbare cloth ripped. The sound was loud and he looked up to see both Will and Belle starting at him. Will was trying to keep the laughter off his face. Belle's head was tilted, her brows furrowed. The look on her face could have been confused, but Rumple was sure it wasn't so complementary. He tore his pant leg free and quickly entered the Cottage. 

 Regina, Robin and Roland were in the sitting room when they entered. As the ‘hellos’ were exchanged, Rumford disappeared into the kitchen and tied a string around his leg until he could fix it. 

He stood and looked out the window, watching as a shepherd guided his flock past. He could feel the nails of his fingers digging into his palms as he slowly breathed in and held it for a few seconds, before letting it out just as slowly. After repeating this a couple of times his heart calmed enough for him to go back into the sitting room. 

Robin and Regina were on a one of the settees, soft smiles on their lips as they watched Belle interact with Roland. She was sitting on the other couch with his nephew as the boy recounted what happened to him. 

“And then the branch cracked!” Roland held up his hands and mimed breaking something in half. “I grabbed tighter to the one I was holding on to, but I fell.” He tilted his head, an adorable confused frown on his face. “I don’t ‘member hitting the ground, but Daddy picked me up. And when the doctor tried to make it better, it hurt! I was scared but I didn’t cry!”

“You’re a brave boy then.” She unbuttoned her coat and slid it from her shoulders, then rolled up her sleeve. “See this?” She asked, pointing to a scar that ran up the inside of her arm. “There was one time I was at sea, and there was a great big storm,” She held up her hands and swirled them around, “and the flying jib came off. It swept down the deck and slammed into me. One of the cleats ripped through my uniform and cut my arm.”

“Did it hurt?” the boy asked, reaching out to trace the scar.

“Yes,” she nodded. “And I was scared. It was the first time I had been hurt on a ship. But I learned something that day. ‘Do The Brave Thing, And Bravery Will Follow’ because as scared as I was I knew I needed to continue on and help get the jib back up.”

Rumford stated at the line of raised skin on her arm. His eyes fixed to it as his hands started to shake. Belle had been injured. And he hadn’t known! She was hurt and knowing what he did about the way doctors worked on ships, she could have lost her arm. He knew it was ridiculous to think that she’d never be hurt, but at the same time Belle not getting hurt was the one of things that kept him sane the last seven years. He swallowed hard and shook his head. 

What happened to Belle was none of his concern. He had made it that way.

“Even when you were hurt, you continued your work?” Will asked.

“Yes,” Belle told him. “It was my duty. I gave my word and when you give your word, it is most abhorrent to me to break it.”

Her eyes flickered over to Rumford for the briefest of seconds, but he could feel the accusation of her words burning him from the inside out. Surely everyone in the room could tell her words were meant for him...the unworthy coward who broke their engagement, and he couldn’t stand to be there one more moment. He stood abruptly and fled the room, but he couldn’t help but see the admiring look on Will’s face as he left and the horrid feeling in the pit of his stomach widened a little more.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:the battles talked about here are a bastardization of thefirstand SecondBattles of Sacket's Harbor and the battle of Put-in-Bay. All was cut/pasted from Wiki.
> 
> A/N: There is an amazing cover art made by the awesome evilsnowswan.

In the weeks following seeing Belle for the first time in seven years, Rumford took to taking walks. He wasn’t sure if it was to be able to avoid her accusing eyes or if he didn't want to see that she seemed to be in Will’s company much of the time. Will had dined at Neverland Hall five times in the last few weeks and they were frequently seen racing their horses in the fields.

He stopped walking, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. After a count of five, he let it out slowly, trying to dispel widening pit the in his stomach. He didn’t deserve to feel the roiling uncertainty and dread and if he was truthful with himself, the jealousy. He deserved nothing in regards to Belle. She could spend time with whomever she wished. He had told as much to Robin.

When he had left the Cottage after Belle’s words, he had fled to the highest hill that faced Neverland Hall. He could see movement on the estate, but couldn’t tell what it was. Was it the cook’s maid bringing vegetables in from the garden? Or was it one of the grooms getting ready to exercise one of the horses the Finley’s brought for their carriages?

He continued to watch as a contradictory longing filled him. He wanted to be back there, in the house he grew up in, dealing with father’s spending and Peter’s teasing, just trying to keep the household together, but at the same time, he wished to be as far away as possible. Back in the Capital or in any of the other cities in the Enchanted Forest. Just somewhere not _here_!

As the sun set, he watched the stars come out and looked for the only group of stars that mattered to him.

The footsteps stopped right behind him and he felt the warmth of Robin’s body before a blanket was draped over his shoulders. His brother-in-law sat down next to him and handed him one of the steaming cups he held. Robin stayed silence and that was what encouraged him to talk.

“I’m not surprised that she hates me,” he said, “I’m the one who broke the engagement. By letter! I didn’t even have the courage to tell her face to face. What kind of gentleman can I claim to be? She’s better off not married to me. She made her name in the war. She will have a plethora of suitors. All of them more suited to her then me.” He fell silent and took a sip of the tea.”

“Do you really think that?” Robin asked. Rumford turned to look at him. “Do you really think she’s happier without you?” 

Rumford contemplated the tea in his cup. 

“How can she not be?” Rumford asked hotly, his voice thick with self-loathing.

“You are right in that she’s angry, but that could be a good thing.” Frowning Rumford looked at his brother-in-law. “You broke her heart but she hasn’t gotten over it. It means she still cares.” Robin said. There was something in his voice that had Rumple's heart tug. The conviction in that statement seemed to be a gateway to a future that Rumford knew was impossible. He shook his head and looked away. 

“Rumford, look at me.” When he didn’t, Robin reached over and grasped his nape, turning him so their eyes met. There was a look in Robin’s eyes that Rumford didn’t want to identify. “If you never believe anything I ever say, at least believe this. Losing you is not something that a person gets over! They may find someone else, someone they love with all their heart, but one corner of that heart will always belong to you! People don’t get over loving you, Rumple. They just learn to live without you.”

Robin’s hand had been pulling him closer while he spoke and Rumford’s head now rested against his, and the tips of their noses were a hair’s breath from touching. Robin swallowed and his eyes drifted down from Rumford’s. All of a sudden, he let go of Rumple and looked up at the sky for a few moments. Rumford swayed back and wondered what his brother-in-law was doing. 

“It’s the same for Captain French,” Robin said, holding out his hand. “We should get back. It‘s late and you know how Regina is.”

He let Robin help him up and they walked back to the Cottage in silence. 

Rumford reached up and rubbed the back of his neck still wondering what was going through Robin’s head that night. He turned to make his way back to the Cottage. There was yet another dinner at Caelum Hall tonight and there was no way he was going to be able to get out of going. Hopefully this meeting with Belle would go a little better.

** ** * ** ** 

    The dinner seemed to be going well, he was only able to eat a little of what was on his plate. He kept his head down and only looked up when he felt he was being rude. After the second time Mrs. Blanchard had to call his name multiple times to get try to get his attention, he tried to be more attentive to the conversation going on around him.

“Admiral Finley,” Will spoke up, “Of all the battles you were in, what was your favorite?” 

There was a moment of quiet as the three Navy members looked at each other. It was Captain Finley who spoke up.

“A battle is never a good thing, Will. We are soldiers and will do our duty, but our sincerest wish is for battle to never be necessary. Even when we ‘win’ the battle, we lose. Ships, supplies, they can be replaced, but we also lose people. The men and women under my command, the _friends_ we’ve lost in battle,” he shook his head, “Nothing will ever replace them. Battles are necessary, but not good things.”

Tension filled the room as Will looked down at his plate. 

“While we don’t like battles,” Admiral Finley commented, “There are some that are interesting from a strategic standpoint.

“Ariel?” Belle asked, her head tilted to the right, letting her thick hair drape over that shoulder.  The left side of her neck was exposed and Rumford found himself captivated that it was still pale considering the amount of time she spent on ships. 

“The Battle of Put-in-Bay. It was, what? Two years ago?” Eric nodded to his wife. “At about ten in the morning early in September, I saw enemy ships coming to where we were berthed. The wind was light giving them the weather gauge, but the wind shifted and allowed me to order my ships to close and attack. Both squadrons were in Line of Battle, with our heaviest vessels near the center of the line. I hoped to get my two largest brigs, my flagship _‘The Sea Witch’_ into cannonade range quickly, but in the light wind my vessels were making very little speed. When my ship was finally within cannonade range, her fire was not as effective as I hoped. The strengthening wind helped, us to brake through the enemy line to raking broadsides from ahead of them while two more of my command fired from astern. It was only a matter of time before they surrendered.”

“It was one of the most important battles of the war,” Eric finished for his wife as she stopped speaking. “One that is credited with shortening the length of the war.”

“But I lost twenty-seven people. Every day I wonder what I could have done different to make sure they came home to their families.” She smiled sadly at the table before a glint came into her eyes. “Thought sometimes I want to strangle them when they don’t follow orders.”

“Are you talking about the Fireship?” Belle asked in a tone that let everyone know that was what Ariel was speaking about.

“What’s a fire ship?” Will asked. 

“Some time the only way to break up the enemy fleet,” Eric said, “is to send a ship that was badly damaged into the middle of the line. For the most possible damage, we set it on fire.”

“We had a shipbuilding yard located in Sacket's Harbor,” Bell began, “My ship _The Chipped Cup_ had just finished being built when we saw the enemy approach. They had tried to attack the shipyard earlier in the month, so a lot of the ships were still damaged. I was the highest in command in the yard at the time, so even thought we were both lieutenants, I ordered our friend Emma Swan to take the rest of the able ships out to and wait for them to cross the mouth of the harbor. When they did, she was to close it off so they couldn't escape.”

Belle paused to take a sip of her wine and Rumford found himself leaning in to hear what she said next. While he followed Belle's Navy career in the newspapers, to hear her talk about he exploits made it so much more vivid. 

“In the first battle we had captured a ship.” Belle paused, a frown on her face as she decided what to say. Ariel spoke up for her.

“It was, without a doubt, one of the worst ships I've ever seen! _The Hook's Revenge_ wasn't fit to be called a ship. It was in the yard so the Admiralty could figure out what we wanted to do with it. There was no way we were going to send it out with any crew!”

“Right,” Belle took up the story again, “So when I saw that they set up their Line of Battle so that _The Hook's Revenge_ was in the perfect place, I took the helm and cut the anchor. I was tacking in a way that looked like she was adrift and when she was close enough, I set her alight.”

“The Admiralty,” Ariel said with some heat in her voice, “has a standing order that once the ship is ablaze, all crew are to abandon. In this instance, “someone” stayed aboard until its bow was nearly impaling the other ship!”

“I got off in time!”

“It was a useless risk! And we both know why you did it!” Ariel hissed at her friend before her eyes darted over to Rumford. 

Rumple was all ready feeling a mixture of awe at Belle doing something so brave and sheer terror at the idea of her putting herself in such danger. All of the blood froze in his veins when Ariel's eyes briefly met his. His own darted over to Belle just to catch her eyes moving away. He took a sip of his wine to cover his gasp. 

“That had nothing to do with it!” Belle responded to her friend, “It was the quickest way to end the battle. We lost no lives that day and captured an entire fleet!” She stood and dropped her napkin in her chair.

“Belle!” Ariel called after her and there was and awkward silence until they heard the front door close. 

Rumford bowed his head and squeezed his eye shut. Belle took risks because of him. Belle put herself in danger because he broke her heart. She might not have gotten off that ship in time. She could have _died_ years ago and it would have been his all fault. He never really wondered what she felt when he broke off their engagement. Deep down he always assumed that she was relived. She was too young to settle down and had her whole career ahead of her. _“She'll be better without you,”_ he heard Zoso's voice repeat in his mind. _“She'll be able to concentrate on her duties. Just wait, in a month, you'll both be happy it was ended.”_

But that wasn't true. Seven years later and he was as far from happy as was possible. And it seemed that Belle wasn't happy in the aftermath of his letter either. How many other risk had she taken because of him? How many other times had she been at death's door because he was a coward who let someone persuade him to break both their hearts? Through the tears that were starting to sting his eyes, he glanced at the doorway where she had just stormed out.

Robin's concerned gaze caught his and he sent him a wavering smile. While Belle was still angry at least she was alive and could find someone else. Rumford knew, thought, that he would die alone.


	9. Chapter 9

The morning after Belle had stormed out of Caelum Hall, Rumford rose with the sun. His sleep had not been restful, and by the time the sky was lightening he decided on a walk, with the hope that it would calm his nerves. It seemed to work as all his mind had to concentrate on was putting one foot in front of the other, his worries seemed to float from him. He only had three weeks before he left for Pixie Hollow and after that he would never see Belle again. That would be for the best for everyone. Belle would find someone to love, maybe even Will. The most selfish part of him hoped that would not be the case, however; he knew he had no right to think that.

    The following week preceded the same way. He would awake before dawn, walk the fields, occasionally being joined by either Robin or Mr. Blanchard as they did their rounds, before going back to the cottage for breakfast. Roland's injury was healing quickly and would usually join him on those mornings. He liked taking care of his nephew, a part of his heart wondering if he would ever be granted a child.

    This day, as he turned to return to the cottage, he felt vibrations from the ground and looked to see a horse running at full speed across the field below the hill he was standing on, Belle leaning forward along its neck as she urged it faster. Another horse, traveled behind her, whom he knew held his brother-in-law on it’s back. Rumford watched as they passed below his spot and was able to catch a glance of Belle’s face while she located her competition. He felt his heart skip a beat at the joy  written across her face.

Her eyes sparkled in the late morning light and a huge grin adorned her face. He watch as she reached the end of the field and turned the horse around, where she dropped the reins and stood up in the stirrups, letting out a whoop of celebration. Will caught up to her and offered his congratulations, his voice clear enough that he could hear the two of them while they chatted before walking the horses back. As their laughter reached him, he turn and quickly made his way back to the cottage, that sight had been a frequent one around the village lately.

Belle and Will had been seen together in the marketplace the day after the dinner at Caelum Hall and the day after that, they were seen down by the river fishing; if one was seen the other was sure to be nearby. Rumford tied not to think about it, he was sure there wasn't anything left of his heart to crumble anymore.

When he made it back to the cottage that morning, he found that not only was Robin, Regina and Roland already up; but David Nolan was also there. He invited them all to a picnic at his estate of Nolan's Hedge the following day. The group thanked him and accepted the offer.

The day of the picnic dawned bright and sunny as the Blanchards, the Nolans, the Finley's and Belle assembled on the hill at Nolan's Hedge. Rumford found most of the day enjoyable, even sharing a blanket with Belle and Will hadn’t bothered him too much. The fact that Belle only looked at him once, before seeming to dismiss him, hurt, but not as much as hearing Regina and Robin speak about when Will would propose. Regina was in favor of the match, Belle had won a fortune in the wars and was rumored to be in contention to be promoted to Admiral soon, making her prospects a 'better match to our family then the Curate'. Robin attempted to temper his wife's idea and enthusiasm, sending sympathetic glances to Rumford.

When he had enough, Rumford excused himself and headed for a section of hedges that formed a small horseshoe shape. It was a good place to lose himself until he could face the gathering again. He sat and pulled a book out of his pocket, opening the cover to the flyleaf, caressing the inscription. _I hope this one is to your taste, it is one of my favorites. Love, Belle._. She had sent it to him with her last letter before he ended their engagement. He had carried it everywhere and if it was the last kind gesture she had for him, it would have to be enough. Even if she married Will and became his sister-in-law and her future children were to be his nieces and nephews, he would have this book and the memory of when she cared for him. He carefully turned the page, the binding creaking for so many readings, and once again starts to read the adventures of a princess who promised herself to a wizard to save her family.

He was nearly finished the second chapter when the snap of a branch let him know he was no longer alone.

“Regina is good and all,” his brother-in-law's voice came from the other side of his hiding spot, “but she has a bit too much of the Gold Pride for my taste. Robin loves her, but I think we all would have preferred it he had married Rumford.”

“Rumford?” Belle said and he tried to decide if her voice held shock or scorn. “When was this?”

“Oh,um...” Will trailed off as he thought. “It was about a year, year and a half before he married Regina. She had just returned from school and Robin was just getting over Rumford's rejection.”

“Did...Did Rumford give a reason for refusing Robin?”

“Just the usual, from what I understand. But we all think it was Zosa. Papa hadn't named Robin as his official heir yet and Mama and Papa thought that maybe Robin wasn't high enough in society yet for Zosa's satisfaction, so he persuaded Rumford to refuse him.”

Rumford was shaking his head, his eyes filling with tears, that hadn’t been it. Zosa had tried his hardest to get Rumford to accept Robin's offer, knowing that Robin would be heir and thought it would be a great match. However, Rumple couldn't bring himself to accept. His heart belonged to Belle and would always belong to Belle. To marry someone he could never love would destroy both of them and he liked Robin too much to do that.

The tears left his eyes at the thought that Mr. and Mrs. Blanchard thought that of him. They thought he would do that to their son and they still welcomed him into their home, treated him like one of their own. He didn't deserve their kindness. He deserved nothing.

“That's ridiculous!” Belle said. This time there was no doubting the hardness in her voice. “Letting someone else persuade you is a sign of weakness. If there is one thing you should know, it's your own mind!”

“I've always though so,” Will replied, then his voice changed. “If I wanted to marry someone, no one could change my mind.”

“I’m glad,” Belle said. 

Rumford listened to their footsteps leading away. So that was what Belle thought of him, that he was a weak coward who didn't know his own mind. She was right, he knew, and must count herself lucky for escaping being married to him. She was a much better person then him! She was a brave soldier, a loyal friend and a smart woman who would be the light in someone's dark life. Opposed to him, who was weak and let his Godfather convince him to do something he didn’t want to do and knew, deep in his heart, he would regret. No one would ever love him the way Belle had. His family showed him that every day. He was of no use to anyone.

Once he knew it was safe, he stood and fled the field back to the cottage. There was no way anyone there could truly want him present, not with what they must truly think of him. The Blanchard’s, and the Nolan’s by extension, were the only family he had. He would not burden them with his present. Once he made it to the cottage he ran up to his room, wiping the tears from his eyes they fell on the sight of his trunks. It was two weeks before he was supposed to leave, but he would spare them having to spend that time with him. He opened his trunk and started packing. He would leave the cottage before the party returned from the picnic. No one need ever see him again.


End file.
